Ik hou zoveel van Seinfeld dat ik soms doe alsof ik ook in zo’n serie woon. Dan doe ik alsof alles wat ik zeg gestroomlijnd, gevat en grappig is en dat iedereen daar om moet lachen. Dat één muur in mijn huis geen muur is, maar een tribune met mensen. Ik zou een soort George zijn.
Ik kijk seizoen drie.
You know there’s like always one location in your neighborhood, one store location that’s constantly changing hands.
Everybody has this in their neighborhood.
It’s a leather store, then it’s a yogurt shop, then it’s a pet supply.
It’s constantly changing and nobody can do business there.
It’s like some sort of Bermuda triangle of retail, you know?
Stores open up and then they just disappear without a trace.
Nobody knows what happened to ‘em.
I guess eventually when like aliens land in the mother ship from Close Encounters, the bottom will slowly open and all these store owners will come wondering out, in a daze going: I thought there would be more walk-in traffic didn’t you?
What time is your job interview George?
Remember, don’t whistle on the elevator.
That’s what Willie Loman told Biff before his interview, in ‘Death of a salesman’.
What, you are comparing me to Biff Loman, very encouraging.
The biggest loser in history of American literature.
All right, I’m gonna go.
What time is the lesbian wedding?
Lesbian wedding. How do they work bride and groom out, what do they flip a coin?
Yeah, they flip a coin.
What, was that not politically correct? It’s a legitimate question.
I’m so tired. I’ll fall asleep on that train.
I get the feeling when lesbians are looking at me, they’re thinking: “That’s why I’m not heterosexual”.
…pianist. A classical pianist. She plays the piano. She’s a brilliant woman.
I-I-I sat in her living room… She played the Waldstein Sonata!
We did a crossword puzzle together, in bed.
It was the most fun I ever had in my entire life.
Did you hear me?
In my life!
(Jerry komt binnen.)
Were you talking? I couldn’t hear anything.
I was telling you about Noel.
Oh, Noel! Yeah, the one who plays bongos…
Heh heh heh… So side-splittingly funny…
All right, I’m sorry. What about her?
What, you think I’m going to repeat the whole thing now?
I know, you told me you like her, everything is going good.
No everything is not going good. I’m very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand?
Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand– no hand at all.
She has the hand.
I have no hand…
How do I get the hand?!
We all want the hand.
The hand is tough to get.
You gotta get the hand right from the opening.
She’s playing a recital this week at the McBierney School. You wanna hear her play? I got two extra tickets, you and Elaine could go…
Yeah, that sounds like somethin’…
Then afterwards maybe we could all go out together. Y’know she’ll see me with my friends, she’ll observe me as I really am, as myself. Maybe I can get some hand that way.